The second Snotling Destruction Derby, sponsored by Grintoof, was held in All-Star Week of Season IV. The event gave the tough blockers and blitzers of the league a chance to shine. Each team had the opportunity to nominate one player to take part.
Frederick Derby

Frederick takes out a Snotling on his way to the Celebrity Derby title.


The following players took part in the Derby:

Grintoof also managed to secure a number of celebrity retired players to take part in an exhibition derby prior to the competition:

The Glorious PrizesEdit

The winner will receive a pair of Grintoof Rogre hardliner gloves. These gloves may be used as a pre-game inducement to give that player +1 ST for an upcoming match. However, the gloves are cheaply-constructed, and will fall apart after two matches.

The biggest loser will receive a Grintoof Procreatis codpiece. As part of the attached endorsement deal, the player must wear the codpiece in his next three matches. For the first two, the codpiece grants +1 AV. But on the third match, it would seem he has placed too much faith in his cheap, snotling-produced Grintoof equipment. Proudly thrusting his crotch into the path of every incoming block, the codpiece fails, and he gets -1 AV for that third match, before tossing the thing.

Results and StandingsEdit

Celebrity DerbyEdit

This season's Grintoof! Celebrity Snotling Derby had an unexpected surprise in the first round, with Murder! columnist Valinor Silvenruth setting the pace with a powerful seven casualties and three KO's. Behind him, ex-Fancy Lads blitzer Frederick racked up three casualties of his own, barely edging out Edrad 'The Stepdad' Oril, who he tied, but beat out due to higher casualty score. At the bottom of the first round chart, Celeb Derby favorites Bull the Butcher and Folkvang were eliminated when their risky strategies backfired. Two snotlings at once was too much for Bull, and Folkvang's frenzied approach got him into hot water, ending with unexpected blocks against them both.

The final round saw the top two scorers face off for supremacy. This time though, high elf Valinor was unable to reproduce his first round success after the better skilled orc blitzer posted another respectable score, notching three casualties and three KO's. Valinor still performed well, scoring one casualty and three KO's, but it was not enough to prevent Frederick from being crowned the Season IV Celebrity Snotling Derby Champion!

Regular DerbyEdit

The Grintoof! Snotling Derby stated strong with last year's champ Fredo 'The Blonde Bullet' Stefani setting an intimidating pace to start the event, scoring an impressive five casualties and three KO's, including a kill. The score wouldn't be match until the saurus Conqua-inz came to the box, choosing a risky double-snotling strategy. Conqua-inz finished with three casualties and five KO's. Skaven stormvermin Stinger was also able to match Fredo with a more tradition approach, collecting four casualties and KO's. Rounding out the first round were (in order) Blind Io, and very surprising Happy CTCT, and Siegfried von Richethofen, the two of which both added a kill.

Happy CTCT takes out a Snotling with a pile-on.

Name Casualties KOs Total
Fredo D. Stefani 5 3 8
Stinger 4 4 8
Conqua-inz 3 5 8
Blind Io 5 2 7
Happy CTCT 3 4 7
Siegfried von Richtofen 4 2 6
Doc Nutsmasher 3 3 6
Max Dryhauser 3 2 5
Bloomberg 3 2 5
Konrad ze Krazy 2 3 5
Roderick Shanks 1 2 3
Heinrich von Klauss 0 2 2
In the second round, Happy CTCT came back down to earth, while the high-risk, high-reward strategy of Conqua-inz finally caught up to him, causing him to suffer a block at the hands of two snotlings. Blind Io performed markedly better than in the first round, posting a good score that nonetheless was unable to see him past Reloaded's Stinger. The real surprise for the fans came when The Shadow's wight Siegfried von Richethofen came to the box, going on a rampage of casualties, in which he inflicted injuries on nine snotlings, without a single KO! The crowd remained on their feet as Fredo D. Stefani, the top scorer of round 1 came up to the box. Fredo showed his stuff, one-upping Siegfried's performance in the score department, though judging by fans' reactions, not in the entertainment department. Fredo and Siegfried would settle that score in the next round.

Siegfried executes a Snotling in the second round.

Name Casualties KOs Total
Fredo D. Stefani 7 3 10
Siegfried von Richtofen 9 0 9
Stinger 6 3 9
Blind Io 3 5 8
Conqua-inz 3 1 4
Happy CTCT 1 1 2

As Fredo readied himself for the final round, Siegfried took the first swings of the Final, and to the astonishment of the entire crowd, managed to continue his string of casualties without a KO! After the dust settled, the necromantic wight had scored an impressive six casualties with a kill, but without any KO's to add to it, the score felt a little light. Fredo proved that hunch to be right. Fredo went to work, and as the casualties and KO's piled up, eventually pass Siegfried, knocking out two extra snotlings for the cheering fans before calling it a day, and shaking Siegfried's bony hand. Siegfried has the (expensive) amazing distinction of having scored a kill in each of the derby's three rounds. The victory makes Fredo the winner and still champion of the Grintoof! Snotling Derby, which means he gets to take home the Rogre Hardliner Gloves! As the biggest loser, Drakenhof wight Heinrich von Klauss takes home the Procreatis Codpiece. Good luck with that!

Name Casualties KOs Total
Fredo D. Stefani 5 4 9
Siegfried von Richtofen 6 0 6
Fredo Derby II

Fredo successfully defends his Derby title.


Killing Grintoof snotlings was strictly prohibited. The following teams were assessed fines due to the actions of their players: 

The Shadow - $60,000 Red Sabres - $40,000 Crooked Peak - $40,000 Beyond Entropy - $20,000 Feets Reloaded - $20,000 Blind Faith - $20,000 

Format and RulesEdit

The Derby will be run by Crow.

-Each team may send one representative to take part. The Derby occurs prior to the All-Star matches, so players may take part in both if necessary.

-Each team representative will be given 16 blocks. One other player will be allowed to take the pitch with the representative if special assistance is required (Bloodlust, Really Stupid). This person may not assist in blocking.

-One snotling will step into the target area to receive each block. A player may elect to have two snotlings step into the box if they wish to attempt a Multiple Block.

-If a snotling is knocked out of the target area, the blocking player may elect to pursue, without forfeiting any of their upcoming blocks (Frenzy). However, snotlings waiting to enter the target area may assist their comrade in this follow-up block. Pursue at your own risk.

-If a player is knocked down in the course of a block, they do not receive any further attempts, and their score for that round is tallied. Dropping to Pile On to an opponent is acceptable. But the player must stand up in order to block the next snotling (not a problem for most players, except possibly a Treeman with Piling On).

-One point is awarded for each casualty or K.O. Ties will go to the player with more casualties. Killing Grintoof snotlings is prohibited. Teams of players who kill Grintoof snotlings will be assessed a $20,000 fine for each snotling killed to provide for their replacement.

-Each representative will receive 16 block attempts in the 1st round. The top half scorers in the 1st round will advance to the 2nd round, where they will receive another 16 attempts. The top two scorers in the 2nd round will advance to the final, where they will receive 16 attemps. The highest scoring player in the final is the winner. The lowest scoring player in the 1st round is the biggest loser.

-Scores do not carry over from earlier rounds. Each round is a clean slate.

-No, you do not get to keep the SPP from smashing the Snotlings.

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